This is for the real gangstas looking to know the Word of God but who don’t really care for that old school King James version of the Bible. If you want to get to familiar with the works of the Almighty in a language you can understand, grab yourself a copy of Tha Holy Bibizzle.
Tha Holy Bibizzle, is not a direct translation of all the sixty six books of the Holy Bible. Instead, is it a satirical retelling using gansta slang, of the events that took place in two old testament books (Genesis and Exodus) and one new testament book (The Gospel According to Matthew). All three books have been appropriately renamed to Genesizzle, Exodizzle n Tha Dope News Accordin 2 Matthew.
Enjoy retellings of epic stories like the fall of Adam and Eve at the garden of Eden, Cain killing Abel, Moses building an Ark, the rivalry between Jacob and Esau and Moses leading the Israelites out of Egypt to the promised land, among other, all with a healthy dose of ghetto lingo.
You should be aware that there is a healthy dose of “cussing” and swear words contained in this biblical text. So you should probably avoid busting out this one when you’re asked to read from the holy book at church.
If you’re looking to get a sample of the text from tha holy bibizzle, here’s a bit of scripture from the book of genesizzle, chapter 2, verse 1 to 3:
Tha heavens, tha ghetto, n all their vast array was finished. On tha seventh day Gangsta finished his work which he had done; n he rested on tha seventh day from all his work which he had done. Gangsta blessed tha seventh day, n made it holy, n rolled tha best weed cuz hes da shit.
So yes, in tha bibizzle God is referred to Gangsta and he rolled and smoked a blunt when he was done creating the world. If this doesn’t sit right with you and offends your Christian sensibilities, then you should stay far away from this one. Otherwise, light up your bong and prepare to get immersed in tha holy word.