The Goosh Pants are for those extremely brave individuals who don’t mind being branded with Mr. or Mrs. Poopy Pants for the rest of their life because of their fashion choices, not because they actually did a number two in their pants.
I mean seriously?! I get that Halloween and costume parties are all about standing out because of how original the design of your costume is. But if your idea of originality is a pair of goosh pants because everyone else is dressed up as Deadpool or Captain Jack Sparrow, then go right ahead and get yourself a pair of these pants!
And what do you get when you order yourself a pair of goosh pants? Well, you get a pair of elastic waisted pants that are entirely white in color except for the pee stains on the front and the poop stains behind. These are not just tiny smears that can be hidden with your top. Oh no, these are massive, cringe inducing statements that look like they were done on purpose.
Quite frankly, if I didn’t know better, I would have guessed that for stains of that size and magnitude, someone ate a whole bunch of greasy fast foods, took a whole pack of laxatives, decided to wear white pants and go on a drunken bender of a night. Then sometime in the middle of that night, while passed out unconscious at the back of some bar, his bowels and bladder agreed that enough was enough and decided to let loose all their contents at the same time.
Whatever mixture of colors and chemicals they used to produce these stains, you’ve got to admit, it looks very realistic. Honestly I am at a loss for what kind of character you would be trying to portray while wearing these pants, but if you do end up at a costume party with these on, do not be surprised if no one talks to you and everyone gives you a wide berth. I guess you could even try to make the effect more realistic by looking for some scent that smells like real poop, but why would you want to go that far?
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