If you have ever experienced some difficulty breathing performing cunnilingus on your female partner underwater (because of course!!), then the glow in the dark pussy snorkel is here to solve all your problems and turn you into an underwater pussy eating champion.

If you read the above sentence to the end with a straight face then congratulations, you are one in a million. There is a lot to unpack with this particular piece of equipment so let us start with the name. Pussy Snorkel!? Really? I know the phrase “drowning in pussy” gets thrown around a lot these days but what kind of drugs do you need to be taking to come up with a product name like pussy snorkel? No doubt it is a catchy name and is effective and drawing attention (you are here reading about it after all) but still, pussy snorkel? Wow!!

Also, what kind of product research led up to the creation of this one? Was there a market survey to identify all the various places where couples are likely to perform cunnilingus and what kind of challenges they encounter while in the act? Is there some historical evidence that shows that underwater cunnilingus performers are experiencing breathing difficulties? In fact who are these people giving head underwater, clamoring for something to make their sub marine, oral sex encounters less impossible? Whoever these people are, their voices sure reached the right people because this product exists to solve their problem.

According to the product description, “The Pussy Snorkel allows a man to continue breathing while performing oral sex on a woman in a spa, bathtub or even a bowl of green Jell-O. Insert the breathing apparatus into your nostrils, rub the clitoral stimulator against your favorite coral reef and start with the tongue action. With the Pussy Snorkel, any man can be a dive master.” If that doesn’t make you want to throw caution to the wind and get involved in some underwater third base shenanigans, then there is no hope for you.

Did I also mention that it glows in the dark? So that when you’re in the dark and murky waters looking for underwater beaver, you can see well enough to successfully approach your target. They thought of everything with this one.